Below, you will find the single most expensive item currently available for purchase at each of 10 top luxury designer e-tailers. You’ll also find the least expensive item. Just for contrast. Why did we create this list? Because! That’s why! Now sit back, relax, and let the strangeness of a store that sells Hello Kitty socks and jeweled Valentino gowns wash over you.
1. Moda Operandi
Most Expensive: Diane Kruger’s blue mullet gown from this year’s Met Gala for $ 37,995.
Balloon-Sleeved Bell-Shaped Gown PRABAL GURUNG (Available at Moda Operandi), $ 37,995
Least Expensive: These white cotton briefs with big Fs on the waistband for $ 45.
Garcon Cheeky Briefs, FLEUR DU MAL (Available at Moda Operandi), $ 45
Most Expensive: This pink 1940s-inspired Gucci dress for $ 25,000. Very “Wallace Simpson at the disco,” don’t you think?
Least Expensive: This plain white T-shirt for $ 20. You can never have too many plain white T-shirts.
3. Matches Fashion
Most Expensive: a floor length mink bath robe for $ 21,380. Ok, it’s not really a bathrobe, but nothing says “money” like five-figure fur loungewear.
Freda Mink Fur Coat, BROCK COLLECTION (Available at Matches Fashion), $ 21,380
Least Expensive: These basic white ankle socks for $ 9. So basic.
Stretch Cotton Ankle Socks, FALKE (Available at Matches Fashion), $ 9
4. Luisa Via Roma
Most Expensive: This Julien Macdonald naked dress for $ 33,712. Aren’t naked dresses over yet? Oh god, please, let them be over already!
Beaded Fishnet Bustier Gown, JULIEN MACDONALD (Available at Luisa Via Roma), $ 33,712
Least Expensive: The opposite of a naked dress, a striped athletic sock, for $ 16.
Logo Cotton-Blend Socks, CHAMPION (Available at Luisa Via Roma), $ 16
Most Expensive: This maxi dress which may or may not expose your left nipple, while definitely exposing your hoo-ha for $ 19,253.
Silk and Tulle Embroidered Dress, VALENTINO (Available at Italist), $ 19,253
Least Expensive: A pair of Hello Kitty socks for $ 12 that were absolutely made to be worn with your new Valentino dress.
Hello Kitty Cotton Socks, GCDS (Available at Italist), $ 12
Most Expensive: This Gucci fur jacket that looks like a knockoff, but it totally legit because that is Gucci’s thing now for $ 38,000.
Fur Jacket With Double G Logo, GUCCI (Available at FarFetch), $ 38,000
Least Expensive: More socks. This time in a 3-pack! Only $ 11.
Pack of Three No-Show Socks, NIKE (Available at FarFetch), $ 11
Most Expensive: This McQueen dress that was originally $ 20,298 but is currently on sale for a mere $ 14,411. Bargain!
Formal Dress, ALEXANDER MCQUEEN (Available at Yoox), $ 14,411
Least Expensive: These baggy, saggy shorts the color of chilled margarine for $ 17. They too are on sale, if you can believe it. You can totally believe it.
Shorts, JCOLOR (Available at Yoox), $ 17
Most Expensive: This funky Gucci jacket, which is perfect for Coachella, which was last month, but whatever! It’s $ 6,495.
Red Oversized Tie-Dye Corduroy “Blind for Love” Jacket, GUCCI (Available at SSENSE), $ 6,495
Least Expensive: These pink Calvin Klein briefs for $ 20.
Pink Modern Cotton Bikini Briefs, CALVIN KLEIN (Available at SSENSE), $ 20
9. My Theresa
Most Expensive: This trippy embellished Gucci gown for $ 20,000. There is so much Gucci on this list, right?
Embellished Tulle Gown, GUCCI (Available at My Theresa), $ 20,000
Least Expensive: This frumpy Calvin Klein Jeans dress that is definitely not a super-depressing way to spend $ 119. Nope, not at all. Not even a little bit.
Floral Dress, CALVIN KLEIN JEANS (Available at My Theresa), $ 119
Most Expensive: This slaughterhouse raincoat from Calvin Klein’s address collection, because we can’t just call it “Calvin Klein” or even “Calvin Klein Collection” anymore. Ugh! Either way, the point is it’s $ 6,940.
Printed Leather Coat, CALVIN KLEIN 205W39NYC (Available at Stylebop), $ 6,940
Least Expensive: This basic white cotton cami, which seems as good a place to stop as any, for $ 28.
Cotton Camisole, AMERICAN VINTAGE (Available at Stylebop), $ 28
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