Adele discussed fighting postpartum depression, staving off stage fright and the downside of fame in a revealing new interview with Vanity Fair.
In the December issue, the 25 singer revealed that, following the birth of her son Angelo in 2012, “I had really bad postpartum depression … and it frightened me,” Adele admitted, adding that she avoided medication.
“I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I was very reluctant,” the singer continued. “My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant, and I said, ‘Fuck that, I ain’t hanging around with a fuckin’ bunch of mothers.’ Then, without realizing it, I was gravitating towards pregnant women and other women with children, because I found they’re a bit more patient. You’ll be talking to someone, but you’re not really listening, because you’re so fuckin’ tired.”
It wasn’t until Adele had a heart-to-heart with a friend that the bout with postpartum “lifted.”
“My knowledge of postpartum — or post-natal, as we call it in England — is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job,” Adele said. “But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life … It can come in many different forms.”
Later in the interview, Adele talked about her near-crippling battle with stage fright, a problem that caused the singer to “projectile vomit” earlier in her career. Thankfully, Adele conquered her onstage issues to schedule a sold-out tour, but she admitted that she wouldn’t hesitate to leave the lucrative touring life behind.
“I’d still like to make records, but I’d be fine if I never heard [the applause] again. I’m on tour simply to see everyone who’s been so supportive,” Adele said. “I don’t care about money. I’m British, and we don’t have that … thing of having to earn more money all the time. I don’t come from money; it’s not that important a part of my life.”
In fact, Adele has seen firsthand how the money she’s earning has changed those around her, including family members who sold stories about her and childhood friends who sold photos of the singer to the press.
“I appreciate when there’s money [involved], but you could go get a job,” Adele said. “The problem is you can’t talk about the downside of fame, because people have hope, and they cling to the hope of what it would be like to be famous, to be adored, to be able to create and do nice things … money makes everyone act so bizarrely. It’s like they become intimidated by it, like I’m wearing my fuckin’ money.”
Elsewhere in the interview, Adele talks about her love for Beyoncé’s music, her ambivalence toward streaming services and how she’s “too scared to ever take drugs.”
Look back at how Adele dominated the pop world of 2015 in just two months.